In Animal News ...

As most of us have probably heard by now, America's beloved Taco Bell Chihuahua, Gidget, has died of a stroke at the age of 15. I have a few things I need to talk about here. First, in the commercials, wasn't "Gidget" a dude? I believe the husky "Yo Quiero Taco Bell" voice was a guy. Am I missing something? Couldn't they have gotten a guy chihuahua to play the part? Or was Gidget a really butch lesbian with a gruff voice?

Also, I love how to owner was shocked and saddened by the loss of Gidget. While I totally agree that they should be saddened, are they really shocked? The dog was 15 years old! In human years, that is like 105. If my parents die when they are 105, I certainly am not going to come out saying that I was "shocked" by their passing. Of course, if my parents live to be 105, that would make me 67, which, at this rate, I do not think I will be seeing. Damn you Absolut Mandarin! (Side Bar: In my hungover state yesterday morning, I made my way to Starbucks and when the woman asked what I wanted I instinctively responded "Mandarin and Water - erm, umm ... I mean, grande caramel light frappucino." She was not amused.)

Finally, has anyone actually spent time around a chihuahua? They are the most obnoxious dogs on the planet. While they look cute, they run around, yelp, shake and are just crazy. I would be happy if I never saw one again. The next one I see I am going to punt clear across 9th avenue right into my favorite Chinese restaurants kitchen. I think that is what they use to make my general tso's chicken anyway.

In other animal news, please check out the most ridiculous site ever. My girl Jules and I discovered this site a few months back and could not stop laughing at the shear ridiculousness of this website. SugarBush Squirrel, the world's most famous and photographed squirrel, is the star of the site, however, please make your way over to the part of the website describing the creator. She is a complete nut (pun intended). Doesn't she look like when she looks into your eyes she is somehow stealing your soul?

I have a couple of thoughts regarding this site. First of all, there is no way that that squirrel can be alive. The way it is always holding things and letting this freak dress her up tip me off to the fact that this squirrel is in fact dead or fake. Which leads to my next point. If this is a stuffed squirrel, I am even more creeped out by this lady. She spends her days taking thousands of photographs of a dead squirrel. Who has time for that? Where does she get the little outfits? Why is this her passion? So much for me to learn ...

That is not to say that I do not have the calendar sitting on my desk. Don't ask questions ... just go with it. The calendar also came with a SugarBush Squirrel Pen. Quite a bargain at $9.95.

Maybe this is why I am dateless ... I bet Kelly Foxton, the creator of SugarBush Squirrel's website, gets more dates than I do ... Sad.